"PURPOSE is focusing the full power of what you are on what you want to achieve." Plaque on bedroom wall, purchased during my "free" trip to Barbados in summer 1998, almost nine years ago. A young fellow student, SKP, followed me to that island paradise literally. It was an adventure of sorts. Then right after Barbados, I started my UTech job experience, another adventure of its own...
I have always wanted to experience "Life more abundant", the motto of my high school, St. Andrew High School (for girls). My bro, D, will recall the numerous silly debates I had with him about whether Campion or Andrews was better! Who cares now? At any rate, during my high school years, I wondered many times about the true meaning of life and if such a notion was just a fiction of people's imaginations.
I spent part of my latter college years wondering about my ideal vocation. I went to all the career counselling centers available to me (including Swarthmore, Drexel and UWI) to get help finding a match between my personality, education and backgroud with a suitable sustainable job and/or business. The most helpful was Drexel's advisor who said I was very unusual (based on many personality tests he had administered); at the end of a long session, he suggested that I become a consultant.
I have actually thoroughly enjoyed my three (3) short-lived stints as consultant, first as technical writer, second as computer consultant and third as weight loss coach/ certified personal trainer. Which leads me back to the age-old question, "What should I be when I grow up?" And more to the point, when will I know that I am utilizing my full potential, if that is possible?
I don't always feel successful. Maybe the problem lies in my definition of success. Let's look for a good definition of success from either a dictionary or inspirational literature...
I've found two good web sites; extracts appear below:
What are the causes of failure and success?
http://ezinearticles.com/?What-is-Success-and-How-Do-We-Achieve-It?&id=6456
William James, the great American psychologist, puts failure down to lack of faith in one self
"There is but one cause of human failure. And that is man's lack of faith in his true self." ...
Many successful people stress the importance of action in achieving success.
Michael Masterson of the Ezine "Early to Rise" writes: "Action is the key to success, and failure to act is the reason most people will never achieve the kind of success they dream about."
Another approach to achieving success is to stay cool about it. Just get on with doing what you think is important and what you love to do. "Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally." Sir David Frost
Peter Vidmar explains how he achieved success at the Olympic Games:
"There's only two things I had to do to win the Olympic gold: Train when I wanted to, and train when I didn't." ...
Another quote I like is concerned with the kind of success which depends on people liking your work or product. Don't worry about whether they will like your work. Just do your best and leave the liking or disliking up to them. "Success has a simple formula: 'Do your best and people may like it'".
Mike Litman comes up with golden statements frequently. Here is just one of them:
"The biggest secret of success in life is: You don't have to get it right; you just have to get it going. Perfectionism can kill success. We never get going because we are always waiting to get everything just right. Instead, let's get going."
http://ezinearticles.com/?What-is-Success-and-How-Do-We-Achieve-It?&id=6456
My comment: How does one learn her true self? I'm all for the "do what you love" approach to life. My problem has been finding who I am and what I love. For me, realizing that that I learn many cognitive subjects faster than others in an academic setting has not been of much benefit that I am aware of - except that I have a secret wish to be a perpetual student; just writing that line seems like I'm a heretic, downplaying my wonderful educational opportunities. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Actually, I'm a believer in formal and informal education, but not in the ability (of the formal academic educational system) to help anyone find their true calling. [I am open to learn if I'm wrong on this point...] Many successful satisfied people always knew what they wanted to be from a young age and then pursued it. Perhaps my brother D does not fit into that category - he chose social work/ counselling somewhat recently, just by reflecting on what he enjoyed doing, and then choosing to pursue studies in this area... So, here am I, still trying to find my raison d'etre.
Just recently, I realized that I've been reading about exercise (aerobics or strength training) for over twenty years. I thorougly enjoyed doing a certification as a fitness trainer last year. The primary reason I would like to visit Dallas, Texas for the Herbalife Extravanga (annual training event) would be to visit the Cooper Center, started by the physician who popularized the term "aerobics" and jump-started the exercise craze for the average Jane and Joe in the 1980's that affected the USA and beyond.
And another problem of mine has been rampant perfectionism coupled with procrastination. In that way of living one cannot be successful, by definition. Recognizing this problem can be the beginning of change, if the admission is followed by a change in my mental attitude! My self-talk is changing, albeit slowly.
While I was searching for quotes on success, I found more interesting ones, worth noting:
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_success.html
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_attitude.html
Albert Schweitzer:
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
Alex Noble:
If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.
Anna Pavlova:
To follow without halt, one aim; there is the secret of success. And success? What is it? I do not find it in the applause of the theater; it lies rather in the satisfaction of accomplishment.
Benjamin Disraeli:
The secret of success is constancy to purpose.
Bernadette Devlin:
Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
Bessie Stanley:
He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.
published 11/30/1905 in the Lincoln (Kansas) Sentinel - an adaptation of this is often attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, though nothing like it has been found in his writings.
Confucius:
To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.
David Brinkley:
A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.
Ecclesiastes:
For everything there is a season,And a time for every matter under heaven:A time to be born, and a time to die;A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;A time to kill, and a time to heal;A time to break down, and a time to build up;A time to weep, and a time to laugh;A time to mourn, and a time to dance;A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;A time to seek, and a time to lose;A time to keep, and a time to throw away;A time to tear, and a time to sew;A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;A time to love, and a time to hate,A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Franklin D. Roosevelt:
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
G. K. Chesterton:
I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.
Helen Keller:
I long to accomplish a great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.
Henry David Thoreau:
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.
Henry Ford:
If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right.
(Also attributed to Mary Kay Ash)
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:
The heights by great men reached and kept / Were not attained by sudden flight, / But they, while their companions slept, / Were toiling upward in the night.
Herbert B. Swope:
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure: which is: Try to please everybody.
James Yorke:
The most successful people are those who are good at plan B.
J.C. Penney:
Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I'll give you a stock clerk.
Marian Wright Edelman:
No one, Eleanor Roosevelt said, can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never give it.
Maya Lin:
To fly, we have to have resistance.
Oliver Wendell Holmes:
Greatness is not in where we stand, but in what direction we are moving. We must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it -- but sail we must and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
Pablo Picasso:
My mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope." Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.
Pearl S. Buck:
The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
Peter F. Drucker:
There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.
Samuel Smiles:
It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success; they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done.
Thomas Alva Edison:
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas Wolfe:
You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity.
Vince Lombardi:
Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price.
William James:
The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_success.html
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_attitude.html
I especially like Picasso quote because he was just himself! And that was quite something else, even though I can't say I'm fond of his paintings. Quite a few people - in the art world - enjoy his unique expressions through art; I am not so complimentary. I desire to express myself by making a significant difference in this world, perhaps as Helen Keller says, through simple effective humble acts performed as if they were great and noble.
I just learnt that my co-worker in SCIT received the President's "Research Initiative" Award tonight. I would like to work on my research efforts in such a way that I am eligible to apply for this award. Actually, I spent quite a bit of time with final year students this afternoon helping them fine-tune their research projects for presentations early next week.
Maybe I don't feel successful because I don't win awards anymore. I won so many awards in my early youth in Prep School and High School until I was eighteen. The awards included academic excellence, leadership, music and art. I even copped two trophies for swimming in my teens through competitive local events. I received the most awards of excellence at 10/11 and at 17/18. Then the big awards stopped.
Maybe I don't feel successful because I don't own anything, not even a very small house or land or stocks. All I have is a growing savings account, albeit in JMMB, investing towards my goal of a home sweet home. Why haven't I reached further financially? (Obviously, the serious hiccup a few years ago - that I am not yet ready to disclose in detail - cost my family and I alot, including personal pain as well as a "pretty" penny.)
Is it that I'm a "smart" person who doesn't make brilliant moves financially? My Dad has quite a bit to say on this topic, based on some really sensible decisions in the area of finances over the past twenty (20) years in the real estate and stock market as well as his regular reading and 'formal' education to be a financial advisor...
I read an interesting part of a blog recently. Here's an extract below:
Why Smart People Make Bad Financial Moves
http://detikinfo.blogspot.com/2007/05/why-smart-people-make-bad-financial.html
Smart people can be boneheads when it comes to accumulating wealth, and the average Joe can become the millionaire next door.That's the finding of a study by Jay Zagorsky, a research scientist at the Ohio State University, who examined the relationship between IQ and wealth.
Intelligence Doesn't Ensure Wealth
While Mensa members score bigger paychecks, they aren't more likely than average folk to transform their take-home pay into wealth. "Smarter people tend to get paid more on the job, but there's no relationship between intelligence and net worth when holding other factors constant," says Zagorsky, whose report was published in the journal Intelligence. The research looks at a group of about 7,500 baby boomers who have been repeatedly interviewed since their teens as part of the government's National Longitudinal Survey of Youth. Back in the 1980s, the Department of Defense asked the group to take its general aptitude test so it could compare military recruits' scores with the general population. Twenty-five years later, Zagorsky asked the same people about their income, net worth (the difference between assets and liabilities), and financial difficulties such as maxing out credit cards, missing bill payments, or declaring bankruptcy.
Financial Mistakes Have No IQ
Zagorsky found that each point increase in IQ test scores raised income by between $234 and $616 per year. Thus someone with an IQ of 120, ranking in the top 10 percent of IQ distribution, would make $4,680 to $12,320 more than someone with an average score of 100. But their superior minds and salaries didn't give them greater net worth -- or shield them from financial woes. Among people with an IQ of 120 or above, more than 6 percent maxed out credit cards; almost 12 percent missed a payment in the past five years; and 9 percent declared bankruptcy. "Those are significant numbers of very intelligent people who don't have control over their finances," says Zagorsky. "If you're not in the top 5 or 10 percent, it's comforting to know there are really intelligent people making mistakes, too."
Average Millionaires
The Army's IQ test is a conservative instrument that assesses reading ability, comprehension, and math skills. It doesn't measure the other kinds of intelligence outlined by Dr. Howard Gardner of Harvard University back in 1983, nor does it account for the personality traits that can lead to big bucks. Here are a few theories on how people with average IQ scores end up rich:
• They make their own rules."
Many wealthy people didn't do well in school; it was too structured for them," says Loral Langemeier, author of "The Millionaire Maker" and chief executive of Live Out Loud, which conducts wealth-building educational seminars. "But they're creative, intuitive, and have street smarts -- they understand how things work, and how to get business done." Many are entrepreneurs. The net worth of self-employed people in the survey was $11,000 to $17,000 more than people who worked for others, Zagorsky found.
• They get knocked down, but they get up again."
It's hustle," says Barbara Corcoran, who built New York City's largest residential real estate company over three decades, before selling the Corcoran Group for $66 million in 2005."Hustle is being too stupid to know that you should lay low when you keep getting slammed," says Corcoran, who describes herself as a "terrible" student. "It's 'hit me again, hit me again, hit me again.' Of the truly wealthy entrepreneurs I've met, the number-one trait they had was hustle."
• They succeed through social intelligence.
Jacques Demers coached the Montreal Canadiens to the Stanley Cup in 1993 and later became a general manager in the National Hockey League. During the entire time he was unable to read or write, according to his 2005 biography "En Toutes Lettres." Demers' father was an abusive alcoholic who beat his son for poor grades, so he left school at 16 functionally illiterate. If someone asked Demers to read something, he would say his English was poor; if the document was in French, he would say he'd been in the U.S. for too long. If all else failed, he would say he forgot his glasses.Demers talked his way into a license, a job, a green card, and an executive position in his nation's most popular sport. He surrounded himself with a team that compensated for his weaknesses. When he became a general manager, for instance, he hired two associates to handle contracts and give him verbal summaries. Finally, in his 50s, Demers came clean; he worked through his childhood issues with a psychologist and overcame his illiteracy. "I wanted my head to be free," Demers told one sports columnist. "Now I'm free. I'm happy."
• They may take more risks, and consequently reap more rewards.
People with average brains may be more naive and willing to jump in -- start a business or make an investment -- than their high-IQ counterparts, who ponder every angle and know too much about the potential downsides of a proposition to take a risk. Zagorsky is currently working on a study that will look at risk-tolerance among his survey subjects.
Smart People, Dumb Moves
In the meantime, I have a few theories on why people with high IQ scores end up struggling financially:
• Sometimes a really bright person develops a gigantic sense of entitlement.
This phenomenon can be described in two words: Dennis Kozlowski. Back in 2001, the former chairman of Tyco International told BusinessWeek magazine that he preferred managers who are "smart, poor, and want to be rich" -- like him, a kid from a working-class neighborhood in Newark, N.J.Kozlowski is currently serving up to 25 years in prison and must pay millions in fines after being convicted of stealing more than $100 million from Tyco.
• They think they'll find "the big idea" that others overlook.
Samuel Clemens never took an IQ test, but he was smart enough to write the "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and earn $100,000 a year in the 1800s, when a middle-class salary was $1,200. Clemens still went bust in 1894, according to Charles Gold, author of "'Hatching Ruin,' or Mark Twain's Road to Bankruptcy." "He had the reverse of the Midas touch," says Gold. Clemens invested thousands of dollars in ideas that never made money: a temperamental typesetting machine; a pair of sheers used to cut grapevines; a clamp that kept the bedclothes from sliding off a child's crib; and a children's history game that taught the dates of major events (the latter being merely bad timing, as the idea took off a century later as Trivial Pursuit).
• They may run with a fast crowd and live beyond their means.
Clemens' investing misadventures were compounded by his appetite for luxury. "He had rich tastes; it took a staff of 12 people to run his house in Hartford, Connecticut," says Gold. "He traveled by private rail car. He was pals with Andrew Carnegie and Henry Rodgers of Standard Oil. He knew and called on the president. He moved in that elevated circle." After bankruptcy, Clemens launched a global lecture tour and eventually paid back every penny to his creditors. But he never found the wealth he sought. "He was always looking for the big investment that would earn him so much money he would never have to write again," says Gold. Fortunately for his fans, he never found it.
http://detikinfo.blogspot.com/2007/05/why-smart-people-make-bad-financial.html
It's important to distinguish between acquiring money to live and living just for money. As the Scriptures say, "the love of money is the root of all evil." I am interested in using money to live my dream, not dreaming about money. More anon.
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